Have you ever found out something major was going on in a friend’s life—something painful, stressful, or just… heavy—and when you asked why they didn’t tell you, they said something like:

“I didn’t want to bother you. It looks like you have so much going on, and everything seems so good for you.”

It’s a gut punch. Not because they’re wrong for not sharing—but because they think they can’t.

Social media has created a strange reality: we see each other’s lives through perfectly cropped stories, edited photos, and occasional life updates—and assume we know how someone’s doing. We feel connected because we watch each other’s moments. But the truth is, many of us are watching each other go through life—not walking through it together.

The Highlight Reel Isn’t the Whole Story

We post the birthday brunch, not the lonely Friday night.
We share the promotion, not the burnout.
We post the couple’s photo, not the argument that happened after.

So when people look at your feed, they think you’re thriving—and that can unintentionally make them feel like their messiness doesn’t belong in your world.

When Perfection Becomes a Barrier

One of the saddest parts of the social media era is how many people suffer in silence because they think their struggles aren’t “worthy” of being shared—especially with someone who seems to have it all together.

You don’t need to be fake to be misunderstood online. You just need to be selective. And honestly, who wants to post their lowest moments for everyone to see?

But when everyone is curating, it starts to look like no one is struggling. And that’s just not true.

Real Friendship Isn’t Built on Timelines

Friendship isn’t maintained by likes, fire emojis, or watching someone’s stories every day. That’s digital proximity—not true connection.

We’re in a time where people can feel closer to influencers they’ve never met than friends they haven’t spoken to in weeks. And yet, the loneliest people often seem the most “visible” online.

So here’s your reminder: presence matters more than presence online.

Text your friend. Ask how they really are. Go beyond “you good?”
You might be the first person who made space for their honesty today.

If someone has been distant or quiet lately, don’t assume they’re doing just fine because of what they post. And if you’ve been the one keeping your own struggles quiet—please know: you don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

Let’s stop pretending we’re connected when we’re really not.