The Imperfect Edit

New week another blog feeling motivated, getting it done!!

I hope everyone had a great long holiday weekend or got that holiday pay!! Either way I hope you all enjoyed.

Jumping right into todays blog over the weekend I had multiple conversation about empathy and the lack of empathy that exist in the current times.

This week my daughter has had a tough week which has resulted in late night text and phone calls to me. As I said in my previous blog my daughter recently moved across the country so there is a 3 hour time difference, but no matter what I do my best to be there for her.

During a conversation with her she stated that no one else around gets it her emotions and are quick to tell her to get over how she feels, mainly family members. In another conversation the same thing was said to me in regards to her emotions. To me statements like that are not surprising it is just how we were raised as if it is not okay to have emotions.

During the conversations I thought to myself, thank God I have changed! I said to my daughter I was raised by strong but un-emotional people, as a kid I was very emotional cried for everything felt everything and was made to feel as being sensitive was a bad thing. Then I became a less emotional adult and mother honestly.

You know the get over it or the you’re to sensitive kind of parent. It wasn’t until maybe her teenage years when I started to really look at myself and my emotions and struggles that also learned to handle hers. I realized that we have a choice on how we react to things and sometimes what might be our way of dealing or coping is not the right way for others including our children.

As I spoke to my daughter one night this weekend I said to her ‘I am so glad that I became the person you needed for these times in your life” being sensitive and having empathy for others is something to admire and there is nothing wrong with it. This world has a way of hardening us we tend look at most things in the negative as a way to not feel things as a guard, because most people don’t like feeling weak or sad or anything other than strength.

We live in a world where empathy is lacking and in turn people have a hard time expressing their feeling to others because they are afraid of not being understood or looked at as less than for having what can be viewed as weaknesses. We see it all the time empathy or understanding is lacking in personal relationship and people feel like they have no one to speak to and they choose an alternative that they cannot come back from. It is a sad truth.

Sometime we should:

• Listen to Listen to others not just to respond.
• Listen to others without judgement
• Offer Suggestions not Answers
• Stop telling people that they are to sensitive as if sensitivity is a defect. (this is my biggest pet peeve)
• Understand that we are all different, how we react to things is different, the way we look at things is different and our strengths and weakness are different.
• Stop telling people to get over it.

What is Empathy? Empathy is the ability to truly be present. It’s the ability to hold a safe space for others to feel their own emotions completely and to be able to understand their experience.

Empathy is the medicine that the world needs. Especially in the times we are currently in. Everyone is dealing with something but we are so afraid to let others know we are struggling in any part of our lives with fear of shame instead we share pretty pictures online to make everyone think we are okay when we are not. This can only last for so long before faking it become un-manageable.

I pray that everyone has at least one Empathetic person ins their life friend family or therapist to help through these tough times it is absolutely crucial right now.

“Check in with your kids no matter their age they are sometime dealing with emotions that feel unbearable and feel like there is nowhere to turn. “

Wishing everyone a blessed and beautiful weekend and week ahead,

Xoxo Kieks

Dedicated to my one and only Baby Girl as long as I can hear I will always be a listening ear~ Love Mom