There’s something I’ve been thinking about lately silence.
Because silence isn’t always a bad thing, even though we hear that a lot online. Sometimes silence is necessary. Sometimes it’s healthy. And sometimes… it’s the only way we can calm our hearts long enough to respond instead of react.
I’ve learned that silence can actually be safe.
There are moments when we step away from a conversation because emotions are high and we don’t want to say something we can’t take back. Maybe you take a walk. Maybe you sit quietly with your thoughts. Maybe you journal, pray, or just breathe for a minute.
Healthy silence sounds like:
“I need a little time, but we’ll talk about this later.”
There’s reassurance in it. There’s care in it. Even in the quiet, you still feel emotionally connected.
But there’s another kind of silence — and if you’ve experienced it, you know the difference immediately.
This is the silence that feels heavy.
The silence where texts go unanswered on purpose.
Where someone walks past you like you don’t exist.
Where days go by and you’re left replaying conversations in your head trying to figure out what you did wrong.
It’s the silence that makes you anxious instead of calm.
Maybe you start apologizing just to restore peace, even if you’re not sure what you’re apologizing for. Maybe you shrink yourself, avoid bringing things up, or walk on eggshells because you don’t want to trigger another shutdown.
That kind of silence isn’t about processing emotions.
It’s about control.
And the hardest part? From the outside, both types of silence look the same. No yelling. No fighting. Just quiet.
But your nervous system knows the difference.
Healthy silence gives space without removing connection.
Punishing silence removes connection to create power.
One says, “I need a moment.”
The other says, “I’ll talk to you again when you’ve learned your lesson.”
I think many of us didn’t realize this sooner because we were taught to normalize discomfort in relationships. We told ourselves, they just need space, even when that space felt like abandonment.
Awareness changes everything.
Once you become aware of how something makes you feel — whether it brings peace or anxiety — you can’t unsee it. You start recognizing patterns. You start understanding that emotional safety isn’t about never having conflict; it’s about how conflict is handled.
Healthy relationships allow pauses without punishment.
They make room for breathing without creating fear.
Silence should help your heart settle, not make it race.
And maybe that’s the real takeaway:
peace and punishment can both be quiet, but awareness teaches you how to tell the difference.
Thank you for reading today’s blog.
Until Next Time keep growing and thriving on your journey.
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