Hey sis, can we talk about something people don’t really bring up when they talk about healing and growth?
No one tells you that becoming a better version of yourself can feel like grief.
Yeah, you read that right grief.
Not just the kind that comes from losing someone you love, but the kind that hits when you start changing, growing, and realizing that some parts of you don’t fit anymore.
Let’s be real
There are moments when you catch yourself missing the old you.
The one who used to laugh without overthinking everything.
The one who loved hard, even when it wasn’t returned the same way.
The one who showed up for everyone, even when she was tired.
And even though that version of you might’ve been naive or a little too giving — she was also brave, hopeful, and full of love. It’s okay to miss her. You don’t have to act like she never existed just because you’ve grown.
I went through that type of grief last year.
I found myself grieving the younger me — the “quote-on-quote more fun me.”
The one who said yes to everything and everyone.
The one who poured into people even when my own cup was empty.
The people-pleasing me who thought being liked meant being loved.
Letting go of her was hard.
Because as much as I’ve grown, she was still a part of my story. She helped me survive. She taught me how to show up, even when life got messy. And I had to remind myself that I could still love her I just couldn’t be her anymore.
Growth and grief can exist together.
You can love the woman you’re becoming and still grieve the woman you were.
It doesn’t make you ungrateful — it makes you human.
Maybe you’re healing and realizing that peace feels weird at first because chaos used to feel like home.
Maybe you’re learning boundaries and it feels lonely sometimes.
Or maybe you’re evolving so fast you barely recognize yourself some days.
That’s okay.
That’s growth and growth can be beautiful and uncomfortable at the same time.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Grieving the old you isn’t about wishing you could go back — it’s about honoring who you were while becoming who you’re meant to be.
That old version of you did her best with what she knew. She carried you through heartbreaks, disappointments, bad choices, and long nights. She deserves love, not judgment.
But you? You deserve to move forward.
To heal.
To glow differently.
So, if you’re in that space right now…
If you’re missing the old you, give yourself grace.
Cry if you need to. Journal it out. Pray about it.
But don’t stay there.
Because the woman you’re becoming needs you to show up — and she’s going to be incredible.
Takeaway:
It’s okay to miss her.
Just don’t go back to being her.
Leave a comment