Happiness isn’t found in a perfect life—it’s created by making intentional choices every day. As a woman in my 40s, I’ve learned that happiness has less to do with what I have and more to do with what I let go of. These 5 simple rules have helped me protect my peace, protect my heart, and reconnect with who I truly am.
1. Don’t Hate Anyone
Holding onto hate only poisons your own peace. I’ve had more than enough reasons to hate some of the people who have come into my life and hurt me deeply. But what I’ve learned is this: forgiveness is my superpower.
Even when it’s not full-blown hate—even when it’s just lingering resentment or unforgiveness—it starts to eat away at me. Not them. Carrying that kind of energy only weighs me down.
So I choose to forgive. Not for them, but for me. Because I deserve peace. I deserve freedom. And I can’t have either if I’m still holding on to what broke me.
Freeing yourself from the weight of hate is one of the most powerful things you can do.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Comparison is the thief of joy—and social media makes it way too easy to fall into that trap.
I’ve struggled with this in the past. I used to scroll through Instagram and constantly feel like I wasn’t enough—like I wasn’t successful enough, pretty enough, or living a life worth showing off. The worst part? I was comparing my real life to someone else’s highlight reel.
Over the past year or so, I made the decision to unfollow accounts—especially IG models and celebrities—that made me question my worth or feel like I had to measure up. It’s been a game changer for my mental health. My peace is no longer up for negotiation.
Your journey is yours. You don’t have to measure your timeline against anyone else’s. Your pace is perfect.
3. Don’t Worry About the Future or the Past
Anxiety lives in the future. Regret lives in the past. But peace? It lives right here in the present.
This one? Whew—this is a tough one. I’m working on it daily. Worrying about the future and replaying the past has honestly become a norm for me. It’s what I’ve been used to for so long, and letting go of that pattern isn’t as easy as it sounds.
Even when I know better, I still fall short sometimes. But I give myself grace and keep showing up.
Lately, my personal motto has been:
“Let it go and let it flow.” ✨
Because forcing things, holding on to old pain, or stressing over what hasn’t happened yet—none of that brings peace. So every day, I remind myself: I deserve to be present for my life.
Your power is in the now.
4. Don’t Expect to Get What You Give
Give from your heart—with no expectations.
When you give just to get something back, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. And more importantly, that’s not honest giving. I’ve learned that when I give, it has to come from a genuine place—not from a place of hoping someone will return the favor, love me harder, or finally show up how I show up.
Expectations can lead to resentment, especially when people don’t move like you do. And honestly? Most people won’t. That doesn’t mean you stop being you—it just means you stop tying your peace to how others respond.
Lately, it’s been on my heart to start giving more.
I used to be someone who gave freely—from my time, my energy, my listening ear, or even just a kind word. I miss that version of me. I didn’t give because I wanted something in return—I gave because it felt right. Because it was in my spirit. And I’m learning to return to that.
Release the expectation. Protect your heart. And let your giving be a reflection of who you are—not what you hope to receive.
5. Never Complain About Your Difficulties
Your struggles shape your strength. Talking about them is healthy—but complaining without purpose or perspective is draining.
I’ve come to believe that difficult times have a divine purpose. They often pull us closer to God. And even when it’s hard, I’ve learned to stop venting to people who can’t change my situation and instead bring it to the One who can.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” — Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)
Our words have power. When we speak defeat, fear, or constant negativity over our lives, we plant seeds of discouragement. But when we speak life—even when we’re walking through fire—we invite God into the situation.
Be grateful, even in the struggle. God tests our faith during the hard seasons, not to break us, but to build us. Complaining takes our focus off of Him. But faith, even when it’s quiet, says, “I trust You anyway.”
Speak life. Speak gratitude. Even when it’s hard.
Final Thoughts
These aren’t rules for being perfect—they’re gentle reminders to protect your joy, even on the imperfect days.
Life gets lighter when you stop chasing happiness and start choosing it, moment by moment.
Which of these 5 rules are you working on right now? Let me know in the comments or share this with someone who needs a little light today.
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