There was a time in my life when forgiveness wasn’t even an option. You crossed me once, and that was it. I’d hold on to the grudge like it was armor—protecting myself from ever being hurt again. I used to think cutting people off was strength, and in some ways, it was. But what I didn’t realize was how heavy it all became.
Holding on to anger, disappointment, and betrayal started to feel like carrying around emotional luggage that I never unpacked. At some point, I realized being mad at people—even when I had every reason to be—felt heavier than forgiveness. So I made a shift.
I started choosing grace. I started letting go. Not for them—but for me.
But Then Came the Question…
Recently, my boyfriend and I had a conversation that made me pause and really reflect. He told me, “You’re too forgiving. It’s like people can do whatever they want to you, and you just let it slide.”
At first, I brushed it off. I wanted to say, “No, I’ve just grown. I don’t let things eat at me anymore.” But the more I thought about it, the more it stuck with me.
Is there a point where forgiveness turns into self-neglect?
Is it possible to forgive and still hold people accountable?
Where is the line between being kind and being taken for granted?
Learning the Balance
What I’ve learned is this: forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting who someone showed you they were. And it doesn’t mean giving people unlimited access to your heart or your peace.
You can forgive someone and still choose to move differently with them.
You can let something go without pretending it didn’t hurt.
You can offer grace and still have boundaries.
Forgiveness is powerful—but self-respect is too. And one doesn’t have to cancel out the other.
What I’m Still Learning
This journey isn’t black and white. Some days I wonder if I’m being too soft. Other days I’m proud of the woman I’m becoming—the one who doesn’t let bitterness take root. I’m learning to listen to that inner voice that says:
You can be kind without being naive. You can forgive without forgetting.
Let’s Talk About It…
Have you ever struggled with where to draw the line between forgiving and honoring yourself? I’d love to hear how you’ve handled it. Let’s grow together, without losing ourselves in the process.
Until Next Time Keep Growing & Thriving on your Journey
xo, Kieks
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