If you have read my blog before you may notice that most of them are based on conversations I have had with friends and family. This one is no different.

I cannot count on two hands how many times I have had conversations where I have said these words “You cannot expect you from other people.”

We can avoid so much disappointment when you stop expecting ourselves from other people.

We have all been there something happens with a friend, family member, or partner, and you say these inevitable words “I wouldn’t do that to anyone” or “if it were me, I would do blank”.

Expectations in friendships

Recently in a venting session with a friend, she told me about a situation with one of her other friends, during a heated exchange her friend backed out of a deal they had previously made.

Rightfully so she was hurt and upset because this was her closest friend, and she didn’t expect her of all people to do something like that and from her perspective she values her friendships and would never do that to her friend.

My response to the situation was the same as the title, you cannot expect you from other people.

The truth is that we are all different, look at things differently and value things differently. Sometimes the best way to avoid disappointment is to expect nothing and accept that people are imperfect they will let you down and will not always do what is right in your eyes.

It is the expectations we put on others that in the end breaks our own hearts.

Expectations in Romantic relationships.

I think we have all been there in our romantic relationships. For some reason we have this expectation when we get into a relationship that our partner should do things like us react to things like us and understand things like us.

I am also sure at some point you realized that you were dreaming, and the reality is so far from what you expected.

A few months ago, I went to a couple’s event for a new podcast coming soon. During the conversation I was shocked to hear couples married for 20 plus years still having arguments over the dishes and the husbands not doing it or doing it enough.

One of the husbands said it is not that I don’t do the dishes it’s that I don’t do it when she expects me to.

My boyfriend says the same thing to me all the time. He will tell me not to do the dishes and he will do it but if he takes too long to do it, I will just do it and then I’m irritated because I did them.

From his perspective it will get done. From my perspective it should be done after we eat and before relaxing most definitely before we head to bed.

Expectation creates the unnecessary annoyance.

Another woman at this same event said to me “me and my husband don’t have those arguments anymore.” She said “when we first got together, I expected him to be as clean as me and the fact that for some reason he leaves his socks wherever he lands annoyed me. Now I have accepted that he is not like me and when I see the socks I am not bothered by it he is who he is, and I have accepted it.”

When you expect your idea of perfection from others, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. No two people are the same, so expecting others to always do exactly what you would do is unrealistic.

Other People’s Expectations of you.

The above rains true when it comes to other people’s expectations of you. When I think about other people expectations of me, I think about all the expectations I have placed on myself at times.

Example: I expected that by now I would have finally loss the 20 pounds I have been trying to lose for the past 5 years. “HA” I still eat the things I know I shouldn’t which makes losing the weight harder. I would expect that knowing better I would do better.

“If I cannot always meet my own expectations all the time, how can I ever meet someone else’s expectations of me all the time.”

Conclusion

Expectations are part of our lives. However, reality can be different for each of us, along with our unique interests, beliefs, and goals. Moreover, our view of reality can sometimes spill into other people, and unconsciously, we may be projecting ourselves into their lives. As a result, we may hold them to our standards when they think differently and have different beliefs than us.

How do you manage your expectations of other? Do you expect other to handle things the way you do? Comment below.

Thank you for reading todays blog, I hope you enjoyed it.

Until next time

Luv Kieks