My Journey to Self Rediscovery

A few weeks ago, during my visit home I had a quick girl talk session with two of my girlfriends, my friend ask me how I was mentally I mentioned that I had been trying to figure out who I am lately. I feel as though I have lost myself in way.

My friend then reflected on t the beginning stages of her relationship with her now husband.                                                   

“5 Years into my relationship I realized I no longer did the things that I liked. I had spent so much time doing what we liked.“

Of course, at the beginning of a new relationship, it’s pretty natural to go “all in,” and not be able to think about anything but your partner. If you go through this period, ride it out because it’s super fun! Don’t worry too much about anything at this stage.

She told me that she had to start to do the things she used to do before getting into a relationship alone and also incorporating those things into her relationship. Like going to the beach, Art Museums, and full Pampering Days among so many other things.

One of the many reasons I love a good girl talk session is because you will realize that you are not alone!

She hit the nail on the head, that is exactly how I had been feeling.

In that moment she asked, “what do you like to do?” Me -with a blank stare “I have no idea”was my response.

Not knowing what I like to do anymore is not in totality a reflection of my relationship but more of a reflection of the various transitions I have made over the years. It was in that moment I knew that I needed to start the process of Rediscovering my Individual Identity.

Steps I am taking to Rediscover my Individual Identity :

Eliminating External Expectations:

Not allowing Social Media, Family, Friends and Outside expectations pressure me to conform to their ways and standards. Making sure I am being true to myself.

Self-Reflection:

What activities, interest and values are important to me as an individual?

• Blogging -My Blogg is a Passion Project, Hobby and stress reliever.
• Self -Care and Pampering Days
• Solo Dates -Having a Drink Some Sushi or Oysters things my partner doesn’t like but I love.
• Staycations- Renting a room for the night having a quiet night outside of my house or buying a resort pass
• Working out/ Yoga/hiking
• Family time
• Girls Night Out/or In
• Trying something new
• Dancing
• Reading
• Church

Open Communication:

Effective communication with your partner is essential. Share your feelings and concerns about the loss of identity. A loving partner will understand and support your quest for self-re-discovery.

Personal Growth

Investing in my personal growth is a big component of rediscovering myself. Setting goals, finding new hobbies trying new things.

Boundaries

Heathy boundaries are an important part of maintaining individuality while nurturing and respecting my relationship.

*Example I know a overnight staycation is probably a no for my partner, but a resort pass would be a good alternative.

Seeking Professional Help

I am a huge advocate of therapy! This probably should have been on the top of my list. A therapist or counselor can provide so much insight and strategies to help through all of the above but also just a magnificent tool for everyone.

Conclusion

Losing our selves is so common especially for us women not only in relationships but being moms, caregivers, Friends, Sisters the list goes on. However, it’s important to remember that relationships and personal identity are not mutually exclusive. With self-awareness, open communication, and intentional efforts to rediscover your sense of self, it’s entirely possible to nurture a loving relationship while also being true to who you are as an individual.

I urge you to Embrace the journey of self-discovery as I am I believe it will lead to a deeper, more authentic connection with your partner and, most importantly, with yourself.

Have you ever experienced season of not feeling like yourself? How did you get back to yourself? What steps did you take? I would love to hear your experience and thoughts.

Thank you for taking your time to read this blog today you support means so much to me.

Until next time

Xoxo Kieks