Hey Luvs, Happy New Week/New Month! is it just me or does October feel like a fresh start?

Lets get into this weeks blog …

I remember during the moving process I asked my boyfriend “how we will remain connected once we move in together?” at the time we mainly spent weekends and sometimes a day or two during the week together. Nothing near everyday! I was concerned that once we moved in together seeing each other every day we would become relaxed, and the effort be it unintentional would slow down. His response just like a man “that’s not going to happen.”

He was right! for the first 3 months that is lol. But it seems as soon as we hit that 4th month “the honeymoon stage” was over and just as feared it started to change, we found ourselves eating separately, watching tv’s in separate rooms and him falling asleep on the couch, add in life’s normal stresses things started to change pretty quickly.

The great thing about our relationship is that we are big on communication we were both feeling the shift in the relationship and couldn’t let it last for too long. Just like during our initial dating we had to be intentional about staying connected now that we are seeing each other every day it can be easy to not put in as much effort because the other person is right there.

Here are a few things we now do to stay connected:

Having Dinner together every night -Eating is a great way to connect and it is no different with your partner. When you’re eating together, you’re actually conversing You aren’t watching TV, your head isn’t buried in your phone — instead you are 100 percent focused on your partner and your meal.

Date night at home or out – When we first started dating one of my non negotiables was he had to date me forever dating doesn’t always need to be this big event but carve out time that is just for us to enjoy each other even if it is at home.

Watching shows together No Phones – lately we have been watching couch conversations on youtube one of my favorite shows to watch I also like watching this show because it highlights relationship issues and gives us perspectives as well as talking points in regard to our own relationship.

Working out together – for the past few weeks we have been going to the gym together after work quality time and much needed exercise.

Praying together– I have always believed that a healthy relationship needs god in the center, but praying together has been a progression but we are beginning to be intentional when it comes to do this together.

Random moments of affection- both of our love languages is touch for me random hugs and kisses all day lol and him been rubbed on his head back arm everywhere.

Monthly /Weekly Relationship check in –A few months ago when we found ourselves drifting from each other i went on canva and created a check in questionnaire I send to my partner and we each write what we are feeling in different areas of our relationship, what we need ect and then we sit and discuss. This has been a great tool for us to think about and effectively communicate.

Making these changes has strengthen our relationship a lot especially the check- ins , what we realized is that we were making our small issues or annoyances with each other bigger than they needed to be because we were making assumptions instead of talking about it.

We are working towards forever and we cannot make it there if we do not put in the necessary work to figure out what works for us. Also, our needs and wants can change quickly and often your partner needs to be that safe space to express yourself.

Relationships like everything else we want in life takes work. If you both want it to work it can, but it will take intentional effort, time, vulnerability and communication.

Comment from couch conversations episode: why is it that we believe that we have to work hard at work, work hard to keep our bodies healthy but when it comes to our relationships, we think we can just relax in it? We cannot just give the worst parts of ourselves to our partners while we work to give our best selves everywhere else.

What are some things you and your partner do in order to stay connected? I would love to hear; you never know who might need to see this.

Thank you for supporting my blog and reading today I hope this topic sparks some thoughts and conversations.

Until next time!

xoxo, Kieks