When are you getting married?” “When is the wedding?”. Marriage and wedding that seemed to be the theme since coming home from my birthday trip. Everyone has now met my guy, they like him and now wants to know what is next.

I have thought a lot about marriage over the past few months and weeks myself. The question I keep asking myself is “Am I ready for marriage?”

Of course ‘marriage’, the way it’s shown in romcoms and the way social media now romanticizes it, sounds beautiful and great. But what about everything else?

In a conversation with my man he asked me if I was ready for marriage, my answer was “I don’t know”. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said yes.  I am being loved like never before and in love like never before…not to mention I would be a great wife and my clock was ticking loudly. If you asked me what would make me a great wife I would give you the basic answers: I am a good woman.

Now we all know that a good woman doesn’t equal a wife , if that was the case so many more of us that want to be married would definitely be married because I know so many great unmarried women. 

When I think of marriage now, it is not this romantic thing that two people choose to do because they are in love. 

Now I look at Marriage as:

Joining Finances – I currently do what I want with my money and I am not questioned about it . 

Making decisions together – Good, bad, and the ugly you have to consult and agree on decisions you make because you are one. 

Constant Compromising 

All Access-Being married in my eyes gives your partner all access to you. When you are dating, even living together, you still can keep your personal things to yourself. I feel like marriage grants all access to the other person.

The Basic things I want and want to be before get married:

Financially Good -I think it is better to go into marriage debt free

Couples Therapy – I believe we all need therapy individually and in our relationships. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and we need to know how to deal and communicate through all of the changes to come, I cannot think of a better way outside of God or (whom ever your higher power is) and therapy.

Security- knowing that my partner will take care of me; mentally, physically, and financially.

Confidence -knowing that I have a man that can lead. Knowing I can trust his moves and help us along the way.

Partnership- knowing I have a partner in crime throughout every and anything we go through, we are doing this together.

Now I am not saying all of this to say I will not get married, or I will not get married to my current person.  I am saying is we are working on these things to get closer to marriage, but also not in a rush! 

Never allow society, family, friends, age, or social media to rush you into anything; everything will happen how and when it is supposed to I promise.

I would love to hear what you think about this subject?

Did I miss some key points when it comes to marriage?

For my married friends, how did you know you were ready for marriage? 

What is something you wish you knew before you got married?

Until next time 

xoxo Kieks