Hey Loves,
We are more than half way through 2023 crazy isn’t it?
Life lately can be summed up in to three words Change, Change & More Change! It has been great, but at times, it is draining mentally, physically, and emotionally. This is mostly because of me and how I handle stress and anxiety.
My anxiety has been brewing lately. I have been feeling the pressure in my chest. Negativity and sadness are trying to creep in.
When I get like this I like to do a brain dump so bare with me.
I struggle to balance my individuality while in a relationship. My Boyfriend and I have recently taken another step in our relationship. This step has been great. This is my first time in my adult life being with someone who wants grow with me and vice versa. While this is beautiful, I have struggled lately to balance Kieshaun the individual outside of my relationship.
Enjoying and nurturing your relationship is perfectly fine. I do not feel bad for wanting to nurture my relationship. Anything of value to you has to be taken care of.
As much as I deserve grace, I have not figured out how to truly give myself grace. This has probably been my biggest challenge in life. It involves giving myself grace. This week I had a moment of being hard on myself for not having everything in my new place yet. I began to mentally beat myself up. Then I sat and realized I have only been there for 2 months. In that 2 months we have done so much. I need to stop being so hard on myself.
The is nothing wrong with changing –If you are not changing you are not growing.
Not having friends in GA gets to me sometime -This week has been one of those weeks.
I Miss My Kid – If you know me, you know my child and I are extremely close. She recently moved back to Los Angeles to be closer to her boyfriend and our family. I miss being able to get up and go out to eat with her. We could go shopping or even just watch a movie together.
I have been home sick lately – Los Angeles will always be my home, it where the most love is. What is crazy about this is that when I go there I cannot wait to get back to Atlanta. But I miss the energy of my family and friends.
Random Thought – The idea that women post pictures (not naked or twirking) for the male gaze is egotistical. The truth is that in most cases, women get more attention and compliments from other women.
Hopefully you made it through this brain dump! If you did Thank you.
Truth is brain dumps tend to relieve the pressure if that makes sense, kind of like journaling. I chose to share it today, one because it has been a while since I wrote anything at all. Two because in my experience, even if what you are experiencing seems small, someone else has felt the same way. Someone is always feeling this way at some point.
It is always good to feel like you are not alone. I would love to hear any thoughts and opinions about the things I have shared.
Until next time
xoxo, Kieks
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