These Days I see a lot of talk about toxic people, but you rarely talk about the possibility that they themselves are the toxic person!!

In my case it took me a very long time to realize that yes I was the toxic person in my relationships. A few years ago after a falling out with one of my best friends it came back to me that she said it was hard to be my friend because I am never happy. At the time if you had asked me I would have told you I am a great friend because I am always there for my friends when the need me and I Love them probably more that I love some of my family and that any falling out with friends was never my fault but theirs because I am a Delight.. LOL

Over the last few years I have done a lot of self-evaluation and during this I had to own my part in my toxic relationships. I spent so much time being negative towards myself and life that I never realized how being around me could be draining on other people.

During my self-evaluation I realized I had some very toxic traits and began to work on them.

• Spoke very negatively about life and myself

• People being happy irritated my spirit I felt like I was the only one that good things never happened to.

• In one breath I could be happy for other success and in the next compare myself to them.

• I always felt as if the world was against me.

• I didn’t like myself very much

Truth is a lot of these toxic traits were a result of anxiety and the lack of Self-Love.

Since the pandemic we have heard and learned a lot more about anxiety and how it affects our lives. Studies shows that 40 million people suffer from anxiety disorders and am one definitely one of those people.

I still sometime struggle and fall into old toxic habits from time to time especially during high anxiety moments. The great thing is that now I recognize what’s going on and I know how to bring myself out of it. dealing with habits of any kind takes work it will not happen over night.

Ways I deal with my anxiety and negative thoughts:

• Journaling– there is something about writing all your thoughts down on a piece of paper for me it is away to get it off my chest and letting it go, in writing my thoughts down I also get the answers to the things causing my anxiety. i also write out my prayers it literally gives me so much clarity.
• Church-Hearing the word soothes my soul. Sometimes you need a reminder that there is someone bigger handling things on your behalf.
• Exercise– Take a walk, Go to the Gym studies have proven that exercise can improve anxiety stress depression and your overall mood.
• Talking to my friends – This might be the hardest one for me. Letting other people know and see your struggles is necessary but hard having friends that love you for your and do not judge is a blessing when you allow yourself to be vulnerable.

I have made so many changes just thinking about it makes me proud. Now any type of negative feelings irritates my spirit if its my own thoughts or negativity from others. Recognizing my bad habits (Toxic Traits) has helped me on the road to Loving myself more as a result I began to Love others better, and have become become a better Mother, Friend, Daughter and Partner.

These are just a few ways I deal with my anxiety. Are you apart of the 40 million? if so how do you deal in those moments. What works for you. let know in the comments.

xoKieks